Tonight, I found that I was at a lost. It was not about winning anything, or to prove a point. It was about becoming responsible for something I am not. What I was going to say did not matter, the decision was already made. An excuse was needed, that is all.
Tonight, I let someone down.
It feels as if that was the only option. In a way, I was an option, too. That makes me genuinely sad to say the least. Friendships can bring the best and the worst from us. On this case, it brought the latter, while the former seems distant and strange. Difficult moments can be less intense if one decides to say what is really going on. That seems to be the problem tonight. Trying to get out of a tunnel is easier when there is a light to follow. I am here with a candle, but no matches and absolutely no trust. I was left out in the dark. The tunnel, however, it is not mine. Not anymore. Silences can be revealing.
I know what it feels to be down and hit the bottom. I hope, that you find the light that will get you at the end of the tunnel.
I wish you happiness.
-E.
Phantasiis 