Blog

Embracing Your Dark Side – Or Getting Inspired by It (as an Artist)

Embracing Your Dark Side – Or Getting Inspired by It (as an Artist)
“Obscurity” – an instrumental beat Produced by Phantasiis

We all have it.

Is that other self, who tells us to react in ways that might not be the best for everyone else. Ways that might have a negative consequence. Those thoughts that turn into scenes in our heads on how we would have approached it.

But we stop. We don’t act. We just imagine.

There’s lots to say about our dark side. Sometimes, we do let it out and have it its way. Is not always pleasant. Most of the time is not. However, it is important to know that our dark side has its purpose. It is there to protect us from harm. From injustice. From treats and an even the dark side of other people.

Sometimes fire needs to be fought with fire.

I’m not here to say that acting according to our dark side is the default answer. Allow me to elaborate on how I am embracing my darkness and channel that energy into my music. Is a creative way for me to see, hear, and materialize all those feelings that I have, and cannot explain with ease.

Music has been a tool for me to express and create emotional landscapes that I can’t express otherwise.

I am trying to create something beautiful out of it. Something that resonates with others. Something that inspire other human beings.

I am trying to connect with you through music.

I’ve been producing and releasing songs often as the winter and shorter days invigorate my creativity. I’ve been feeling more energy and sleeping better. Waking up and going for walks around the park before sunrise. I love this season.

I’ve been working on improving my diet and exercising regularly. Which, in turn, will help me create better music.

For the longest time I was ashamed of many thoughts and feelings I have. Sometimes to the guilt was so intense that was provoking me feelings of anxiety.

At the end of the day, they’re thoughts. They come and they go. Thanks to meditation I am getting comfortable by being present with my thoughts. Regardless of their nature. I just let them be and acknowledge them.

I’ve been creating darker music. And I have been creating relaxing and calming music, too. I feel that by exploring my thoughts and states of mind, I will be able to evoke feelings in others.

Let the music express what you feel. Even feelings are temporary. Might as well enjoy them or better yet, get inspired by them and create something that has permanence.

On Creativity,

Ernesto

“Esa Noche” – Nueva Base de Rap | Hip-hop Instrumental producido por Phantasiis

Aqui te presento mi nuevo instrumental. Espero te guste y te inspire.

Here’s my new instrumental. I hope you like it and it inspires you!

Ernesto

My Newest Beats for Free Download and Leasing

My Newest Beats for Free Download and Leasing

I started to release several instrumental beats and started this YouTube playlist to display them. If you find something you like, feel free to download it (for non-profit purposes, per agreement) or lease a beat if you really liked it.

I am making progress. And this is just the beginning. Thank you for joining me in my journey.

On Creativity,

Ernesto

What Causes You to Feel “Goosebumps”? Name Five

What Causes You to Feel “Goosebumps”? Name Five

I’d like to share mine with you.

  1. Seeing fellow artists do what they do best: making art
  2. Hearing good news from people
  3. Listening to someone speak anything that they’re passionate about
  4. Watching people dance
  5. When a plan from a loved one went better than expected

On another note.

I’m writing this on a Sunday night. This weekend was one where I needed to recharge my mind and body. To reconnect with myself. I have a decision to make about my school and career. 

Last week was good and stressful to say the least. I’m currently pursuing a graduate degree in Data Science while working full time. It proved to be much different than I anticipated.

I’m failing at both tasks. Or at least, I was.

Meanwhile, the support of my grandparents, friends, and partner has been instrumental in keeping me grounded. It was one of those moments where I thought I was doing something good, even well-intentioned. The reality is that I was setting myself up for failure.

Time is limited for me. Also, time doesn’t wait for us or our needs. As I read in a book “Time just is”. Is up to me to decide where and how I allocate my 24 hours.

On a positive note, I did have a nice weekend. I slept a lot each day. Woke up and had a cup of coffee and the rest of time revolved around music and talking to friends over discord while gaming or taking a break.

I had several moments where my skin, particularly my arms, were full of goosebumps. I tend to attribute it when good things happen or are about to happen. Think of it as a good omen.

Some of them happened while listening to other people. Others when I was by myself creating a beat or watching videos about producers or musicians making something from scratch. I love that.

Let’s dive to the five things I illustrated at the beginning.  

Seeing Fellow Artist Do What They Do Best: Making Art

Every time I see when the “magic” is being created, that smile with closed eyes while nodding your head when everything sits right in the middle of the situation. The perfect moment. When the jam session goes into that transcendental state of mind. Flow at this purest form. When suddenly the beat takes off and starts bouncing everyone one in the room. That gives me pure joy and of course, goosebumps. 

Hearing Good News from People

This happens a lot to me. When I ask how things went or the status of a given project. I get an unexpected positive response from the person telling me the good news. I can see it in their face. Again, that joyful smile full of contained happiness. Hearing good news from others makes me genuinely happy. Do you have any good news would you like to share? Leave it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

Listening to Someone Speak Anything that they’re Passionate About

This is one of my favorites for sure. There’s something magical about hearing someone what makes them happy. What makes them feel alive and portray just that when talking about it. I get to learn new things about that person and get to know them at a deeper level. Those smiles while talking about what you love. That’s where is at.

Watching People Dance

Do I need to elaborate on this? If the beat is good. If the song is catchy and has the right vibe and people just get down. There’s something on it that makes my skin feel different and I end up dancing as well. Though, there’s times where I start the dancing first. Just the power of music and its vibrations makes my head nod. Might as well get some moves going on. 

When A Plan from A Loved One Went Better Than Expected

Don’t you love when that happens? I’ve been hearing great plans from friends, relatives and partner that went better than expected. These types of stories give me inspiration, and, of course, goosebumps. 

What I’ve been exploring and being mindful about is cherishing those good moments. Knowing when my body is present along with my mind’s attention to the person in front of me. There’s magic on reacting to people’s happiness by means of amplifying it. Of being genuinely happy about others happiness. Even when you might not be doing well at that specific moment. Some of that goodness might get to you. Or viceversa. You might be the light on someone’s tunnel.

Be that light. Reflect it and amplify it, too.

On good feelings,

Ernesto

“Eres Fuerte” (You’re Strong) – Phantasiis | Lo-Fi Type Beat

“Eres Fuerte” (You’re Strong) – Phantasiis | Lo-Fi Type Beat

I was having an emotional experience while creating this song. I almost wanted to cry out of joy of doing what I love and getting lost in the sounds. When I’m in this state of flow, I forget to eat or to take breaks. I forget everything and I let myself get carried by the music and the moment itself. I really don’t know what it was, I just felt connected to something greater than myself last night.

It was beautiful.

I felt that a voice within me told me, “eres fuerte” (you’re strong), and not in the sense of physical strength. Rather, that my spiritual growth is stronger, making me more resilient when I feel that I’m stepping into darkness.

I hope that this instrumental piece makes you feel calm, and that it reminds you that you got this. You are getting stronger.

On Fuerza,

Ernesto

“Mi Otro Yo” (My Other Self) – Prod. by Phantasiis | Hip-hop Instrumental | Piano Type Beat

“Mi Otro Yo” (My Other Self) – Prod. by Phantasiis | Hip-hop Instrumental | Piano Type Beat

Today I worked on an instrumental song that I’ve produced from scratch live on Twitch and Facebook. While the stream itself wasn’t optimized-it looked low-res and blurry- I had an amazing experience doing it. I took me about two hours and a half to have the finished product that you’ll see below.

“Mi Otro Yo” or my other self in English is a song that to me, teleports the listener to a place where you meet your other self, either good or bad and have a conversation with them. It has a dark, somber atmosphere but also a feeling of hope, nonetheless.

I hope that this song makes you feel something special.

On Creativity,

Ernesto

“Pura Vida” – Produced by Phantasiis | Piano Type Beat

“Pura Vida” – Produced by Phantasiis | Piano Type Beat

I knew this song was meant for someone I haven’t meet at the time. The title translates to “Pure Life”, which is exactly how I felt when I finally met that beautiful and pure being.

I will record it properly and do it justice. See Instagram post below for a demo.

Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram @phantasiis let me know that you found me through my blog, and I’ll follow you back as well.

On Creativity and Love,

-Ernesto

Writing lyrics in Spanish for “Pura Vida” – Produced by Phantasiis

“La Soledad” Produced by Phantasiis | Dark Type Beat

“La Soledad” Produced by Phantasiis | Dark Type Beat

Hello,

I’ve been creating music regularly for the last couple of months. I’ve been experiencing a period of stability in life that I haven’t experienced before. I don’t have the sensation that my energy is being drained. Sleeping better and feeling happy. Loved and admired from who I am, not for what I’m expected to be according to anyone’s standards.

It was a scary feeling to feel this type of connection. So much positivity and beautiful energy from someone. Made me think that I didn’t deserve to be treated like that.

I’m glad I was wrong.

Needed to experience what I thought I really needed in life. While life itself and the universe gave me the opportunity to meet someone so special, so true and so beautiful.

Even if the song translates to “Loneliness” it’s not meant to reflect my current state of mind.

This song was made to say goodbye to those things. To those connections that aren’t part of me anymore. To anything and everything that made me feel alone. Even when I was next to someone.

On New Beginnings,

-Ernesto

Phantasiis – “Hope” | Instrumental Piano Type Beat | Hip-hop | Freestyle

“Hope” was my first attempt at creating a beat visualizer using FL Studio. I liked the outcome. I see myself doing more complex ones instead of using the wizard option.

Let me know your thoughts.

-Ernesto

Choosing our Baggage

Choosing our Baggage


“You can only help people feel better about their life, but you cannot take on yourself their struggles because that’s not your load to bear.”

I’d like to take a moment to be mindful. Without my own struggles I wouldn’t have the strength to know that I can push through at the end. To begin with requires being aware that you are struggling. You can live in survival mode for an extended period and not realize you are struggling and get accustomed to it. On the other hand, you are in a hopeless situation with no future and find out too late, like it happened to me not long ago.

You might think that being in a negative situation is normal. Almost expected. When someone arrives in your life and shows you the other side, or when someone leaves your life to show you how different and positive life is without them, that’s when it hits you. It hit me hard.

Noticing that change is possible, that it can be a decision -though, sometimes difficult- is already half the battle. Bringing it to awareness is already a catalyst to make that move. To go all in, or all out and leave. In my case it was the latter.

Often, I’ve been in situations where I’m too caught up in my own narrative that it is hard to change perspective. Usually, it is my body who is the first to tell me to take a break. To remove myself from the equation I thought I had to be in to get an answer. An answer to a question that wasn’t mine to begin with. Your body might send pain signals, uneasiness, stress, anxiety, lack of motivation, energy, or sleep. These last two are the most common to me. I felt drained.

To be brief, I experienced a situation where I was sharing a space with someone who was experiencing a tough time. Initially, I was there to help that person out. It was what friends do. Sooner than later, I was already working from there and eventually living there. As the quote illustrates at the top, it took me time and pain to realize that I didn’t want this to be my life.

And there I was. Thinking about doing something right and I overdid it, putting others before me, trying to play hero where the battle wasn’t mine. It was my choice to be part of it, and it showed me how I can disguise myself as doing good when it was to fulfill a subconscious desire.

Perhaps, the idea of being needed and being able to provide for someone. I’ve been thinking long and hard about that. I know that I may have helped, and, in the end, caused pain and disappointment when I left.

I feel sorry about it. And I have reached out and asked for forgiveness.


In the end, I had to protect my wellbeing and sanity. Had to ask myself if this is how I wanted to live life. The answer was that I needed to surround myself with individuals who want to grow, that have ambition and want to find themselves.

“Don’t push a boulder uphill just because you can”

-Ernesto