I’m starting by releasing some singles that I’ve been working on. The first one is called “Shadow on the Wall”, which is an instrumental song. It was a fun project to do. It is scheduled to be released on January 8th on most streaming platforms.
If you’d like to pre-save it on your Spotify, click here. You’ll have the option to add your email if you’d like to subscribe to my email list. I hope this song makes you imagine something or sends you to a good place.
I’ve been exploring my lyrics in Spanish, my first language. The reason for that is because I can rhyme and improvise better with it. My written and spoken English is more academic rather than metaphorical or artistic. I felt limited.
This process took several months of trial and error. I’m mostly self-thought on my music and production skills. At a certain point I felt certain guilt of investing so much time, money, and hours on this craft and not releasing anything to the world. While it is not a requirement, I felt compelled to share my music and change of sound since my old project Ernesto Delirium.
I remember that I wrote that Phantasiis was going to be a new project where I’ll focus on hip-hop, rap, and instrumentals. I’ve kept my word. However, this website wasn’t reflecting that.
Which brings me to this post.
Here’s my first attempt at producing a rap song made by yours truly. I’ve invested in a microphone and decided to try it, after much hesitation on my ability to create something different than a rough recording. I’ve used all the tools that I had available and mixed this song to the best of my ability.
It turned out decent.
To me this is huge as a self-thought music producer. It is a new milestone on my skillset. I’m working on some releases and writing lyrics as well. I’ll update you soon about it.
Hola, espero estes muy bien. Llevo mucho tiempo sin publicar aqui. Sin embargo, eh estado haciendo musica y letras para esas canciones. En ese video encontraras una de ellas. Y a mi de paso. Que estes bien, un abrazo. -Ernesto, “phantasiis”
Seeking motivation when feeling in need of a little push. Someone who believes in me. Anybody. I wish I had people around who could tell me that I can do it. That they’re proud of me for what I’m doing.
Recognition and acknowledgment. Basic things that I believe everyone needs at different degrees. I want very little. I wished people who live with me, who know me, who are part of my life would say: you got this.
I write today to tell myself that I got this. I am whom I decide to become if I put in the work. Regardless if no one notices. Regardless that nobody really cares. I notice. I care.
Today was a day where I felt I was giving up. That I was throwing everything down. Dropping the ball. A day were I almost surrendered from my dreams and what I want.
And it did not happen. Not today. Not tomorrow. I won’t let it happen.
I’m making progress today by choosing to move forward. I chose myself. I do not need approval other than my own. I am motivating myself through writing. I hope that you don’t give up and get that motivation to move through.
I believe in you and I acknowledge you. I know I don’t know you, but know that like me, you are not really alone in this. You have what you carry inside. What gets you moving, what pushes you.
Remember why you are here. Your purpose and mission depend solely on you. No one owes you anything. I had to remind myself of it today. I was losing my essence.
Please remember why you are here and what you envision.
Welcome to the first episode of Words and Beats with Phantasiis!
Today we are talking with Chicago based producer, Gene Katsuro from MakeYourOwnDamnMusic.
In this episode, we discuss Gene’s creative process and mindset towards music. We dive into how music shaped our lives and why we must save music and not the other way around. Also, we dive into the world of meditation and eastern philosophies on how our psychology affects our music output.
We also discuss mental health and touch base on our personal experiences and struggles.
This was a true honor for me because Gene was the one who motivated me to get serious about music and start releasing songs. I never thought that I will be interviewing him and I am thankful for this opportunity.
For more about his projects please see his links below:
I’d like to share with you my newest beat on Beatstars. This one was an interesting one for me because I didn’t expect to turn this dark. When I started making the beat, I was envisioning a feeling of closure, a feeling of redemption.
It turned out differently.
Once I started adding the melodies, I instantly felt the desperation the sound was portraying. Imaging a feeling of sadness that happens when you know something inevitable is going to happen. Hence, the title, “Imminent Chaos”. It felt right to name it that way.
As far as the structure goes, I went to a fast tempo, 150 bpm with a half time feeling. I spend more time on my hi hat patterns because I feel that’s one of the areas to improve with my music. Also, I tried different patterns with the kick drum. I liked how it turned out at the end.
One thing I still need to be okay with is the 808 bass. I’m sure I will make them sound better. On this occasion, the whole mix peaks at -6db. I hope to hear what a mixing engineer can do with the stems.
Please let me know what you think of it. Constructive feedback is always welcomed. Feel free to use the contact form to get in touch.
I’d like to start with some updates since my last post:
I feel back to normal from my severe insomnia that I had for months. Now I have a more structured day and normal hours. I’ve been making music regularly and I’ve reached a point where I decided to move forward to the next step with Phantasiis:
Start giving value to what I make.
That’s why I decided to make the first step and created a Beatstars account. I only have this song for now and I will upload some unreleased songs in the next few days. It’s a nerve-racking feeling because I never tried to sell my music, other than sharing my songs from Spotify or SoundCloud. I feel that I’m at level where I feel that my music sounds the way I like.
I have a creative project going on in the background for all of you, which I hope you’ll enjoy. I’ll write more about the details once I have a finished product. For now, it is a mystery (?).
On another note, I started to play my electric guitar again out of nowhere. Not necessarily creating something with the intention to record it, but just for the fun and the pure pleasure of it. I realized that my hands actually get sore now after extended play. I suppose it is time to do those stretching exercises (there’s some by John Petrucci on Youtube in case you’d like to do some, too).
Also, I’d like to share with you that this is my first week as a Graduate student. It is interesting how life as turned out. I’m working on becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I hope to keep you posted on my progress and stuff that I find interesting. I miss writing psychology articles, such as the one for Morita Therapy that I did a few years ago.
It feels good be writing for the blog again. I hope that you are doing well. As always, feel free to email me using the contact form with your comments or questions.
Here’s a new beat that I made recently. I hope that you like it. I spent several days without making any music. I’ve been, however, playing my guitar and doing freestyles in Spanish to get a creative flow going.
I’m finally sleeping better and feel like a human being again. I feel that my body is still recovering from extended sleep deprivation. I’m feeling great nonetheless.
I feel that I’m making progress with my music. Perhaps not in quality or uniqueness if you will, but I do feel a certain change on how I make music. I feel that I’m finally have some sort of system going on. A process where I can hear the song in my head and translate it to my DAW.
I’m slowly but surely switching from using Mac to PC. Mostly because of school and software compatibility. I’ve been okay with the transition. I’m going to miss Logic Pro for sure, it is great for mixing. I like its workflow.
For now, I’ve been producing on FL Studio 20. I’m still working on getting to know the program well and I know just enough to create songs and do mixes. It’s a great software.
For this song, I’ve used XLN Audio RC-20 plug in. It’s my first time using it and I like how it sounds so far. Perhaps it will be a constant tool on future songs.
Here’s a playlist of several singles that I released today on my SoundCloud. For some reason which I yet need to explore, I didn’t want to release it. Perhaps it was a sensation of impostor syndrome disguised as procrastination. I had several songs finished and ready to go, and I still did not do the last step -the easiest one, release them- for several weeks.
I believe I got trapped in a ‘it still needs to improve’ mindset. From now on, I’m going to release more frequently and with less hesitation about quality. I want to release well mixed music, of course. However, what might sound bad for me, my be good for others. It’s all about perspective. I need to be okay with that.
I’m still having recurring insomnia and is getting into a point of frustration. I hope, that with better sleep hygiene and cutting on caffeine I can rest better. I’m revisiting some of books which discuss sleep and how to optimize it. If I get results from what I learn, I’ll share here.
Lastly, I have a question for you:
How often does it happen to you when you have a finished product of any kind, and self-doubt kicks in and you delay its release? I’m not completely sure is self-doubt most of the time. I think there’s something deeper than that. Who knows? Hence, the question. Please let me know in the comments section what is your answer. Also, if you liked any of the songs from this playlist below.