Phantasiis – ‘Summer Beats’ | Instrumental Hip-Hop Playlist

Phantasiis – ‘Summer Beats’ | Instrumental Hip-Hop Playlist

Here’s a playlist of several singles that I released today on my SoundCloud. For some reason which I yet need to explore, I didn’t want to release it. Perhaps it was a sensation of impostor syndrome disguised as procrastination. I had several songs finished and ready to go, and I still did not do the last step -the easiest one, release them- for several weeks.

I believe I got trapped in a ‘it still needs to improve’ mindset. From now on, I’m going to release more frequently and with less hesitation about quality. I want to release well mixed music, of course. However, what might sound bad for me, my be good for others. It’s all about perspective. I need to be okay with that.

I’m still having recurring insomnia and is getting into a point of frustration. I hope, that with better sleep hygiene and cutting on caffeine I can rest better. I’m revisiting some of books which discuss sleep and how to optimize it. If I get results from what I learn, I’ll share here.

Lastly, I have a question for you:

How often does it happen to you when you have a finished product of any kind, and self-doubt kicks in and you delay its release? I’m not completely sure is self-doubt most of the time. I think there’s something deeper than that. Who knows? Hence, the question. Please let me know in the comments section what is your answer. Also, if you liked any of the songs from this playlist below.

Thank you for listening.

Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

I was feeling frustrated
I was not alone
And I just needed space

But I did not told you so
I chose to keep silence

And there I was, faking that I was fine
A hurricane of anger
But still, I made you a nice breakfast
Two eggs, sunny side up, fresh spinach and ham, with some coffee as well

I did not mention that I was furious
That I had a hurricane that was destroying me from the inside out
It was a hot summer morning
And I was feeling nothing close to warm inside

I became a frostbitten silent man
A speechless entity that was sharing breakfast next to you

I resembled more of a statue than a friend
I just did not wanted to be in me own skin
Mi silences started to speak by themselves
My body was screaming in desperation

I still do not know why I did not explode at that moment
I really wanted to release all of this

It seemed like a good idea to do it so by washing the dishes
And there I was, doing some occupational therapy

Until you noticed that the therapy that I needed was to leave me alone with my thoughts

You hugged me, and I could not hug you back the way I normally do
You left me alone, and I felt relief

I thought I handled it pretty damn good
I did not told you anything negative, nor insulting

I kept my thoughts and anger, and this hell of a hurricane inside of me as usual. As I always do.

This is just some wishful thinking
I wanted to believe that you didn’t notice
But I know you did

I know that you know my anger, and my silences
I forgot that tomorrow was your birthday

And here am I, creating havoc and hurricanes because I do not know any better

New Single: Farewell to All I Used to Care

New Single: Farewell to All I Used to Care

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Hello,

I’ve been working on improving my mixing skills. I’ve applied what I’ve learned so far on this new single, titled “Farewell to All I Used to Care”.

This song was recorded during the summer. It took time to figure out how I wanted it to sound. All I know is that it gave me this feeling of saying good-bye. This song has a lot of meaning for me because I have actually parted ways with someone especial for me. It is a bittersweet feeling knowing that things won’t be as they used to. It makes me happy, however, that I’ll be around somehow.

I feel a slight improvement on my mixing techniques. I hope that this song makes you feel something, or remember that especial someone in your life. Someone that you know won’t be getting back.

Let me know what you think.

Please enjoy.

 

New EP Out Now

Hello All,

My new EP Uncomfortable Reflections and Other Stories is out now on all streaming platforms.

It was an intimate experience writing and recording this record. It has a lot of meaning for me since I have been in an emotional rollercoaster lately. I hope, that some of the lyrics resonate with others.

Thank you for your support.

Music as catharsis,

-E.