Choosing our Baggage

man s hand in shallow focus and grayscale photography

“You can only help people feel better about their life, but you cannot take on yourself their struggles because that’s not your load to bear.” I’d like to take a moment to be mindful. Without my own struggles I wouldn’t have the strength to know that I can push through at the end. To begin […]

Lost and Found

The feeling of being stuck and the struggle of change.  I started to think that something was off with me when I started to feel physically exhausted and mentally clouded daily. Waking up was a pain, let alone staying awake for the first hours during work. During the night I seemed alive, and I didn’t […]

Words And Beats | Interview with Gene Katsuro

Hey friends, Welcome to the first episode of Words and Beats with Phantasiis! Today we are talking with Chicago based producer, Gene Katsuro from MakeYourOwnDamnMusic. In this episode, we discuss Gene’s creative process and mindset towards music. We dive into how music shaped our lives and why we must save music and not the other […]

Back at the Craft | Update

Here’s a song that I’ve made recently. It’s an instrumental where I try to emulate the Lo-Fi genre. I hope you like it! I stopped making music for several weeks due to my mental state and negative mindset. I started exercising during that time and did meditation consistently. I feel that I started to notice […]

RX to Self: Please Slow Down

It’s been 12 years since I started this path. Mental illness wasn’t the problem. The struggle was how to regain my confidence and self-esteem after the first onset of symptoms.  In retrospect, I felt like an observer. I was aware of my surroundings and the people around me. The constant struggle to try to belong […]

Rx to Self: Part Three

This post is part of a series of experiences on healthcare. From realizations, patient navigation, and the implications of being divided by a border. Symptom: Misinformation and poor communication  I tend to do things on my own for most of the time. The idea of self-sufficiency is something that I look up to. When my […]

New Year’s Evening

It was a cold, rainy evening. I had a cold, and I didn’t really wanted to go out. That was my comfort zone claiming its place. I’m glad that I didn’t let it take over. This New Year’s Evening was one to remember. My partner and I made some home made pizza. The pizza base […]

Checking-in

Its been a week of poor sleep. I feel as if my circadian rhythm got shifted. I go to bed, and wake up after three hours on average. This is not my usual self. It’s been months since I had an extended period of irregular sleep. It’s the stress. I’ve been dealing with situations since […]

Mirrors (The Devil) – Lyrics

Mirrors I just crossed the line With graceful movements I saw the evil in my eyes In the mirror monuments Fear screamed from the mirror A fear I couldn’t believe A fear so mysterious A fear with no reason to be Walking forward, with no direction I immerse myself into dimensions Looking for answers, asking […]

Forever After (Anxiety) – Lyrics

Forever After (Anxiety) Feelings That I don’t want That I don’t need Why can’t I just make them disappear?   It makes me sad I can’t control it It’s in my mind I can’t avoid it   This obsession that I have with my thoughts I cannot stop   Why I can’t just shut my […]

The Question I Ask When I’m Feeling Anxious

I had an anxiety attack while getting ready for my internship. To be honest, I don’t know what triggered it, it just happened. I was doing well for several days. This episode served me as a reminder and a learning experience, too.

During the Night

During the night I feel them Coming thirsty Eating my will and confidence A thousand hands Reaching to my mind Touching my fears Tempting with my life A voice speaking “Good night” Until I fall sleep Nightmares rising Waking alone Full of marks and scars Inside my thoughts I’m becoming An outsider of my own […]