I’d like to share with you my newest beat on Beatstars. This one was an interesting one for me because I didn’t expect to turn this dark. When I started making the beat, I was envisioning a feeling of closure, a feeling of redemption.
It turned out differently.
Once I started adding the melodies, I instantly felt the desperation the sound was portraying. Imaging a feeling of sadness that happens when you know something inevitable is going to happen. Hence, the title, “Imminent Chaos”. It felt right to name it that way.
As far as the structure goes, I went to a fast tempo, 150 bpm with a half time feeling. I spend more time on my hi hat patterns because I feel that’s one of the areas to improve with my music. Also, I tried different patterns with the kick drum. I liked how it turned out at the end.
One thing I still need to be okay with is the 808 bass. I’m sure I will make them sound better. On this occasion, the whole mix peaks at -6db. I hope to hear what a mixing engineer can do with the stems.
Please let me know what you think of it. Constructive feedback is always welcomed. Feel free to use the contact form to get in touch.
I’d like to start with some updates since my last post:
I feel back to normal from my severe insomnia that I had for months. Now I have a more structured day and normal hours. I’ve been making music regularly and I’ve reached a point where I decided to move forward to the next step with Phantasiis:
Start giving value to what I make.
That’s why I decided to make the first step and created a Beatstars account. I only have this song for now and I will upload some unreleased songs in the next few days. It’s a nerve-racking feeling because I never tried to sell my music, other than sharing my songs from Spotify or SoundCloud. I feel that I’m at level where I feel that my music sounds the way I like.
I have a creative project going on in the background for all of you, which I hope you’ll enjoy. I’ll write more about the details once I have a finished product. For now, it is a mystery (?).
On another note, I started to play my electric guitar again out of nowhere. Not necessarily creating something with the intention to record it, but just for the fun and the pure pleasure of it. I realized that my hands actually get sore now after extended play. I suppose it is time to do those stretching exercises (there’s some by John Petrucci on Youtube in case you’d like to do some, too).
Also, I’d like to share with you that this is my first week as a Graduate student. It is interesting how life as turned out. I’m working on becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. I hope to keep you posted on my progress and stuff that I find interesting. I miss writing psychology articles, such as the one for Morita Therapy that I did a few years ago.
It feels good be writing for the blog again. I hope that you are doing well. As always, feel free to email me using the contact form with your comments or questions.
Here’s a new beat that I made recently. I hope that you like it. I spent several days without making any music. I’ve been, however, playing my guitar and doing freestyles in Spanish to get a creative flow going.
I’m finally sleeping better and feel like a human being again. I feel that my body is still recovering from extended sleep deprivation. I’m feeling great nonetheless.
I feel that I’m making progress with my music. Perhaps not in quality or uniqueness if you will, but I do feel a certain change on how I make music. I feel that I’m finally have some sort of system going on. A process where I can hear the song in my head and translate it to my DAW.
I’m slowly but surely switching from using Mac to PC. Mostly because of school and software compatibility. I’ve been okay with the transition. I’m going to miss Logic Pro for sure, it is great for mixing. I like its workflow.
For now, I’ve been producing on FL Studio 20. I’m still working on getting to know the program well and I know just enough to create songs and do mixes. It’s a great software.
For this song, I’ve used XLN Audio RC-20 plug in. It’s my first time using it and I like how it sounds so far. Perhaps it will be a constant tool on future songs.
Here’s a song that I’ve made recently. It’s an instrumental where I try to emulate the Lo-Fi genre. I hope you like it!
I stopped making music for several weeks due to my mental state and negative mindset. I started exercising during that time and did meditation consistently.
I feel that I started to notice a difference about three months in. I started to have more energy and was gradually becoming more at peace with myself.
That was the hardest. I’m the type of person that’s harsh towards itself. I’m my worst critic, and this feeling intensified after leaving the hospital.
Friends have been instrumental during those tough times. Without their support and unconditional love, I would probably be dwelling on negativity. Thank you for being there for me. You know who you are.
I’ve been listening to a lot of hip-hop lately. It helps me stay focused and keep a groove when I’m shadow boxing or going for a walk. The picture below is from jog where I had to start writing some verses on my phone. That was the day when I recovered my inspiration for the craft.
I got the opportunity to join a non-profit as a full-time employee. Right now I’m adjusting to the schedule and seeing what are going to be my time windows for creativity. I’m somewhat worried that my physical activity will decrease as well as my musical output.
Going for walks during my lunch break have been good for me and I want to keep them consistent.
One thing that has been helpful is improvising a standup desk. I used my piano stand and a guitar case and voila. This setup has been great for my back and overall posture. I feel more comfortable during music sessions by alternating siting and standing. I wonder why I didn’t think about this before.
I’ve been reading about Japanese psychology once again. This book has been helpful many times when I’m not doing well or I feel that I’m not being proactive. I found this podcast which has brought me to the world of spirituality and understand more about meditation. I’ve been listening to many episodes and I find meaning with the teachings. Sometimes the stories bring tears to my eyes.
I’ve been doing a lot of healing during my meditations. Feelings of guilt, sadness, pain, anger and sorrow have been present when I’m meditating. I let them consume me and release them in silence. This has been highly therapeutic for me.
I’m in a better place now. My mental state has improved to the point of feeling like my usual self. I feel more connected to something greater than myself. I’m becoming more attuned with my body.
I’m giving myself permission to be happy. I’m allowing myself to enjoy life and be okay with who I am. After being in a dark place for several weeks, I feel that I’m recovering my identity and confidence. I’m making progress.
There’s plenty of inner work to do. I’m glad for that because it means plenty of growth opportunities. Its a road that I hope never ends.
Exploring new sounds and emotions through music is important to me. I’m revisiting lyrics and ideas in Spanish, as reflected on my last spoken word record. This turned into my new project: phantasiis.
This project of mine is going to be entirely in Spanish, my first language. There’s something in me that I want to share with you but I cannot express it the way I intended to in English.
The main genre will be hip-hop or something close to its core elements. Some songs will be pure instrumentals, while others will have either spoken work, or my best attempt at rapping.
I feel I’m ready to start releasing songs for this project. Ernesto Delirium will continue, but it will be intended for my guitar driven songs from now on. I believe I have enough of a blend of genres in my repertoire, and I would like to keep it consistent with guitar and spoken word.
phantasiis is going to be for my hip-hop and rap explorations. Also, I started a blog for that project, too. You can find it here. However, its content will be in Spanish.
I’ve already posted my first blog post, which is a letter I wrote to myself about forgiveness.
I feel happy with the way things are turning out for my music endeavors. I believe that phantasiis will explore my emotions in Spanish, whereas Ernesto Delirium will explore my ideas in English.
This song was recorded during the summer. It took time to figure out how I wanted it to sound. All I know is that it gave me this feeling of saying good-bye. This song has a lot of meaning for me because I have actually parted ways with someone especial for me. It is a bittersweet feeling knowing that things won’t be as they used to. It makes me happy, however, that I’ll be around somehow.
I feel a slight improvement on my mixing techniques. I hope that this song makes you feel something, or remember that especial someone in your life. Someone that you know won’t be getting back.