Some Changes and Updates

Some Changes and Updates

It’s been a while since I’ve made a blog post. I’ve been working in the background. Making songs on a regular basis and learning new software.

Here’s some updates I’d like to share with you since my absence: 

I’ve noticed that I’m more creative when I wake up earlier than later in the day. The days where I wake up early are the days where I grab some coffee and start working on music.

I moved to my own place -finally- and it has been great having my own space to dwell on my creativity and just be alone.

I released a 3 song EP under my side project Phantasiis, which is titled, ‘Take It Easy’. You can find it here .

I’ve been doing freestyle rap in Spanish and recording myself doing it. It’s been really fun and sometimes I do get in to a flow state.

I’ve bought a microphone that is surprisingly small, but it works for practice purposes. 

I’ve got into console gaming, I’ve been playing Apex Legends on Xbox for a few weeks and I’ve been loving it.

Finally bought a TV -never owned one- soon to realize that I don’t really use it to watch anything. It is more to listen to music and occasional YouTube videos. 

I realized that I haven’t learned anything about music as of lately, rather I’ve been applying what I know and find new ways to work with that.

I could not move forward to my Masters Program in Data Science due to time constrains. 

Instead, I got accepted into a Certificate program for Business Intelligence Analysis by UC San Diego. It has been a great experience and excellent community.

I noticed I’ve reached a point in life where I don’t need much to live comfortably and make music. All I really need is a computer, mouse, and good headphones.

I’ve been having bad insomnia but it has been getting better.

I got into audio books and I really enjoy listening to something interesting while doing something rather mundane. It turns that task into an experience.

I stopped meditating. I don’t have a clear reason why as of now. I feel I’ve reach a point where I meditate through music. I noticed when I was in my meditation period for several months, I didn’t create many songs. Something to think about. Will write about it later.

Lastly, I’ve been thinking a lot about this website. I believe this blog and writing in general is a great outlet for me to express my thoughts and clarify my mind. Hopefully some of this content brought value to you at some point. However, I feel that Ernesto Delirium is not a name I want to keep using for the blog. The main reason is that I don’t plan to release more songs under that project anymore. It was a great experience, but I’d like to focus all of my energy to Phantasiis and keeping it consistent.

Therefore, I’ll change the website address to reflect that change. I don’t know how long the process is going to take, but I’ll make the necessary changes. Also, changing the website design would be a plus, too.

More music to come, especially instrumental hip-hop. I’d like to get back into writing articles about psychology and music as well, time will tell.

I hope you are doing well with all of the chaos going in the world.

Take it Easy,

Ernesto

Part of my new logo for Phantasiis

Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

I was feeling frustrated
I was not alone
And I just needed space

But I did not told you so
I chose to keep silence

And there I was, faking that I was fine
A hurricane of anger
But still, I made you a nice breakfast
Two eggs, sunny side up, fresh spinach and ham, with some coffee as well

I did not mention that I was furious
That I had a hurricane that was destroying me from the inside out
It was a hot summer morning
And I was feeling nothing close to warm inside

I became a frostbitten silent man
A speechless entity that was sharing breakfast next to you

I resembled more of a statue than a friend
I just did not wanted to be in me own skin
Mi silences started to speak by themselves
My body was screaming in desperation

I still do not know why I did not explode at that moment
I really wanted to release all of this

It seemed like a good idea to do it so by washing the dishes
And there I was, doing some occupational therapy

Until you noticed that the therapy that I needed was to leave me alone with my thoughts

You hugged me, and I could not hug you back the way I normally do
You left me alone, and I felt relief

I thought I handled it pretty damn good
I did not told you anything negative, nor insulting

I kept my thoughts and anger, and this hell of a hurricane inside of me as usual. As I always do.

This is just some wishful thinking
I wanted to believe that you didn’t notice
But I know you did

I know that you know my anger, and my silences
I forgot that tomorrow was your birthday

And here am I, creating havoc and hurricanes because I do not know any better