The Summer Demos

The Summer Demos

I’d like to share with you a playlist with some songs I’ve made during the summer. I’ve been practicing and learning how to produce hip-hop. My goal is to produce the LoFi genre.

It has been an interesting and enjoyable process for the most part. There’s much to learn, and not much time on my hands. I won’t be as active on the blog starting next month.

I’ve got the opportunity to join a graduate program. I’m going to start a Master’s program in Data Science this September. Therefore, I’ll be focusing on school for a while.

I hope that you are doing well, and doing better each day. I wish you inspiration, lots of creative juice, and plenty of sleep. I’ll be missing the latter.

Thank you for listening!

To our success,

Ernesto

Mondai nai!

Our Song and Silence

Our Song and Silence

I started to hear our song

The one that we danced

Together, as one, as a whole

With our bodies and souls

I realize that you’re not here

Not with me, not together anymore

And we’re not dancing either

Our bodies and souls are now apart

Silence is what I want

Please turn off the music and lights

I don’t want to hear our song

The one we used to dance

Together, as a whole.

Checking-In

Checking-In

Next week is finals week. I’ll earn a bachelor’s degree in applied psychology. Last Thursday was my last lecture as an undergrad. I felt nostalgia. 

A chapter ends and another begins.

Many years and sacrifices happened to get to this point. Below are some questions that I’m exploring tonight. I would love to read your thoughts on them, too. 

1. Would you do it again?

2. What would you tell now to somebody who’s starting out?

3. What would your healthiest and smartest self would advice you?

4. What did you had to give up for to accomplish this?

5. What did you discover about yourself?

 Allow yourself to learn something outside from school or your trade. That activity could become an outlet to decompress from school or related stressors. Learning about music and reading non-academic books were instrumental for me. This semester was one of the busiest I had.

Somehow, I wasn’t as stressed as I thought. It felt as if I chose to not get stressed this time around. Peers and coworkers told me many times that I looked calm and zen. 

I believe that Morita Therapy helped me with that. I haven’t had anxiety symptoms since October. Reading the book gave me a mental frame to work with my emotions differently. Also, I read and almost finished Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. I’ve been a fan of his works for some time now. 

Taking a break from social media a few months ago helped with my work and school output. I must say that I eventually returned, but my usage is minimum. I reached a point that I don’t mind not using it; at best I use it to share my blog posts and music, no more than that.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I’ve been working on some beats that I plan to release soon. Music has been an outlet to explore my emotions, creativity, and learning skills. I’ve been getting into producing sample-based music. You’ll notice a different flavor under Phantasiis in comparison with my usual style. 

Summer is around the corner, and with it more time to dedicate to the craft. I haven’t written here in a while, but I’m still around.

What’ve you been up to?

Hasta pronto,

— Ernesto

Thank You (Letter) | New Single

Thank You (Letter) | New Single

This song was written as a reminder to myself. To be thankful for people that I welcome to my life. To be aware of who I let to hear my story.

It turned out to be a lesson for me.

Thank you for listening. Please let me know your thoughts in the comments or the contact form.

Mondai nai,

-Ernesto

phantasiis – My New Music Project

Exploring new sounds and emotions through music is important to me. I’m revisiting lyrics and ideas in Spanish, as reflected on my last spoken word record. This turned into my new project: phantasiis.

This project of mine is going to be entirely in Spanish, my first language. There’s something in me that I want to share with you but I cannot express it the way I intended to in English.

The main genre will be hip-hop or something close to its core elements. Some songs will be pure instrumentals, while others will have either spoken work, or my best attempt at rapping.

I feel I’m ready to start releasing songs for this project. Ernesto Delirium will continue, but it will be intended for my guitar driven songs from now on. I believe I have enough of a blend of genres in my repertoire, and I would like to keep it consistent with guitar and spoken word.

phantasiis is going to be for my hip-hop and rap explorations. Also, I started a blog for that project, too. You can find it here. However, its content will be in Spanish.

I’ve already posted my first blog post, which is a letter I wrote to myself about forgiveness.

I feel happy with the way things are turning out for my music endeavors. I believe that phantasiis will explore my emotions in Spanish, whereas Ernesto Delirium will explore my ideas in English.

Muchas gracias,

-Ernesto

Guitar Loop [Video]

Guitar Loop [Video]

Life has been improving with more challenges and constrictions. There is beauty on limitations. Having less time for music may be a good thing.

I’m on my last semester for my bachelors degree. It has been a rough one to say the least, and it has made me appreciate my leisure time. Now, when I have a window of free time, it goes towards the craft.

Getting back at it after a break

This is my first YouTube video where I’m doing an improvisation over a beat I made on Maschine. I’m using a Boss RC-1 Loop Station pedal, and a Blackstar ID: Core Amplifier. It was recorded on the fly with an iPhone microphone.

I’ve been working on some demos for a project under a different name. I’m hoping to release the new project EP by this summer. We’ll see.

As always, let me know your thoughts, questions or suggestions using the contact form.

Mondai nai,

-Ernesto

Music Updates And Recommendations

Music Updates And Recommendations

This winter break was supposed to be dedicated to the craft. I was waiting for it. Almost to the point of romanticizing it. I didn’t go as planned, however. I wanted to use the newest addition to the home studio, the Maschine MK3.

Maschine MK3
Going deep with this one during my spare time.

I have a project that’s in the works right now. I’m experimenting with lyrics in Spanish, after releasing my first full-length album. I don’t have an estimate of how long it’s going to take, but I’m happy with the demos so far.

Getting Maschine has lead me to the world of sampling. It’s interesting, and I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to apply it to songs, but I’m getting inspiration from YouTube and Instagram.

If you are in to sampling, hip-hop, and gear reviews, I strongly recommend you this YouTube Channel Accurate Beats.

Also, I recommend this blog to my readers, Jordan Hall – Music Journalist. Jordan has a background in production, audio engineering, and writes for various publications.

He has great content on hip-hop, sampling, vinyl, and interviews from music industry. His blog was one of the first ones I’ve followed, and I’ve been a fan since then.

Songs On Repeat: I have these two songs on my head lately. The first one is by the band Flunk, titled “Hello (Demo).” It’s an acoustic version of their trip-hop song. It just sounds good to me.

From their Album: Chemistry and Math

The second song is by Minthaze, titled “Stüssy.” It appeared on my recommended songs from Spotify. The moment I heard the first snare, I was hooked. It just has that right tone and mix on any of the speakers I have.

For those that love instrumental beats

Last Thoughts: I’ve been slowly but surely updating the website. Trying a new template and getting a readable design.

I’ve joined SoundCloud in order to reach out to new listeners. My complete catalog is soon to be uploaded on their platform. It takes a bit of time. Let me know if you are on SoundCloud so I can follow you.

School and work already started. I’m hoping that with this structure I can make time to write here.

Let me know what your thoughts in the comments, or through the contact form.

Thank you for reading,

-Ernesto

New EP Out Now

Hello,

I’ve released a new spoken-word, 11 tracks EP in Spanish. It’s titled “Diferencial: Tuvo un Día Triste” (Differential: He had a sad day). 

Diferencial: Tuvo un Día Triste

This EP is composed of poems that I wrote, based on love and heartbreak with the point of view of someone who has a mental health condition. 

It deals with topics of anxiety, lack of emotions, the silences that couples experience at times when there’s much to say.

It explains that sensation when someone you care about tries to diagnose you unintentionally, out of curiosity. 

The music itself is minimalistic. The main focus was on the vocals, which were difficult to record but forced me to be creative with the tools I had. 

Overall, I’m satisfied with this experiment. I’m visualizing more of this, but more guitar driven. 

This EP is also available on Apple Music, YouTube, Amazon, and on most streaming services. 

Muchas Gracias,

-Ernesto

Sleepwalker (Going Towards You) – Lyrics

Sleepwalker (Going Towards You) – Lyrics

Sleepwalker

It was too late

Walking asleep

I was confused

Nothing happened

 

Since I was alone

just half awake

and unconscious

 

Sleepwalker

 

Going towards you

In this fictitious dream

to hold  and embrace your being

 

Sleepwalker

Living in a perfect world

to forget everything after

 

Sleepwalker

Waking up and seeing the disaster

Sleepwalker

Sleepwalker

 

Convinced myself that it was real

it seemed normal

and I get this thrill

And at the end I don’t remember

 

Anything

 

Convinced myself that it was real

it seemed normal,

and I get this thrill

and at the end I don’t remember

 

Anything, whatsoever

 

Going towards you

In this fictitious dream

to hold and embrace your being

 

Sleepwalker

Living in a perfect world

to forget everything after

 

Sleepwalker

Waking up and seeing the disaster

Sleepwalker

Sleepwalker

 

Convinced myself that it was real

it seemed normal

and I get this thrill

And at the end I don’t remember

Anything, whatsoever

 

Convinced myself that it was real

it seemed normal

and I get this thrill

And at the end I don’t remember

 

Anything, whatsoever


Forever After (Anxiety) – Lyrics

Forever After (Anxiety) – Lyrics

Forever After (Anxiety)

Feelings

That I don’t want

That I don’t need

Why can’t I just make them disappear?

 

It makes me sad

I can’t control it

It’s in my mind

I can’t avoid it

 

This obsession

that I have

with my thoughts

I cannot stop

 

Why I can’t just shut my mind?

Why I can’t just close my eyes?

 

But I can’t

I am too anxious

Overwhelmed

So pretentious

 

It appears

that this will be

forever after

inside of me

 

I am worried

It’s hard to breathe

I am nervous

It’s hard to think

 

Anxiety follows me

You are not in here

I don’t want this

I don’t need this

 

This obsession

that I have

with my thoughts

I cannot stop

 

Why I can’t just shut my mind?

Why I can’t just close my eyes?

But I can’t

I am too anxious

Overwhelmed

So pretentious

 

It appears

that this will be

forever after

inside of me

 

Forever after

Inside of me

I just want this

To disappear


Talk To Me (Denial) – Lyrics

Talk To Me (Denial) – Lyrics

Talk To Me (Denial)

It’s been enough time

the moment has come

so you can become undone

denial, talk to me

 

There’s no reason to be

you did your affliction in me

distracted me, drained me

abused me and confused me

 

You gave me false hopes

a thousand scenarios

non of them where doable

none of them where real

 

A lack of consciousness

a lack of awareness

Denial, talk to me

let’s set our differences

 

Say what you need to say

your end is here tonight

you must talk

You must die

 

I’ve had enough

the moment is now

You’ll be undone

and witness what I’ve become

 

Come on denial, talk to me

we need to talk.


Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

Angry Hurricane – Lyrics

I was feeling frustrated
I was not alone
And I just needed space

But I did not told you so
I chose to keep silence

And there I was, faking that I was fine
A hurricane of anger
But still, I made you a nice breakfast
Two eggs, sunny side up, fresh spinach and ham, with some coffee as well

I did not mention that I was furious
That I had a hurricane that was destroying me from the inside out
It was a hot summer morning
And I was feeling nothing close to warm inside

I became a frostbitten silent man
A speechless entity that was sharing breakfast next to you

I resembled more of a statue than a friend
I just did not wanted to be in me own skin
Mi silences started to speak by themselves
My body was screaming in desperation

I still do not know why I did not explode at that moment
I really wanted to release all of this

It seemed like a good idea to do it so by washing the dishes
And there I was, doing some occupational therapy

Until you noticed that the therapy that I needed was to leave me alone with my thoughts

You hugged me, and I could not hug you back the way I normally do
You left me alone, and I felt relief

I thought I handled it pretty damn good
I did not told you anything negative, nor insulting

I kept my thoughts and anger, and this hell of a hurricane inside of me as usual. As I always do.

This is just some wishful thinking
I wanted to believe that you didn’t notice
But I know you did

I know that you know my anger, and my silences
I forgot that tomorrow was your birthday

And here am I, creating havoc and hurricanes because I do not know any better