Just sad, plain.
Empty, with no desires.
Just this numbing pain.
My once vast well of emotions is drying out.
Drop by Drop.
For others, is almost entertaining.
And I don’t have time for laughter
When I feel that my soul is being slaughtered.
I try to make a conscious effort
To recognize the signals
To prevent more pain from myself
And when I notice it, it is too late
There is no escape.
Until I reacted.
I saw and recognized my vulnerability
I saw how fragile I am.
How broken.
Forgotten.
And I realized:
“I am broken, and it means that I am into pieces.
That means I am everywhere.
And when I feel sad, the universe is sad with me too.
It’s making me company.”
Now, I know that it is okay to cry for no reason.
To feel overwhelmed by words of kindness.
But all that it means is that I have to be strong.
I will survive this depression and its thorns.
It is part of the ritual.
I am not alone.
Phantasiis 