I have been told that there is no black and white, nor good and bad.
I was told that there is an immense gray area.
I want to find it.
Call it intense emotions, binary thinking and decision-making, if you wish. The problem is that I struggle to find the middle ground for most things and situations. I have a tendency to have contrasting attitudes and feelings. It is either a yes or a no, a positive or a negative, on or off, a juxtaposition of thoughts and reactions. The gray area seems far to reach.
I am hesitantly walking towards it.
Most of the time, I juxtapose what it is eating me inside with a display of kindness and compassion. I wear a mask that does not reflect what is going on inside of me. This does not mean, however, that there is always something somber happening with me, but I do smile at strangers when I feel down. I am surrounded by feelings and the expressions of them that are diametrically opposite to one another, sharing the same time and space.
I have been embracing my contrasting and juxtaposed emotions, in search for clarity through a gray filter.
Anything can be good or bad because it will depend on perception. At the end, we are the ones who make the choice of how we look and feel about a situation or emotion. In my case, I am progressively accepting situations, people, and feelings as they are. It is not an easy task for now.
Do you smile when you do not really want to?
What are your juxtapositions?
Have a great week,
-E.
