What I am working on at this moment is putting things into balance and order, since much imbalances and chaos passes through me for now. Some of this chaos was the aftermath of decisions where I went against what I was genuinely feeling. I knew I did not want this, but I followed through regardless.
It is wise to know when to stop.
I am writing this ambiguously, without the intention to harm. I am writing this because it is a way of somehow sharing what it is going on, and have peace with it by seeing it outside my mind. Writing helps me clear my thoughts, and in away, it is an intimate activity that I do in order to feel that someone is listening to me.
I am leaving things, ideas, dreams, and people behind. I am clear with the fact that I must not allow situations and self-imposed burdens and negative relationships hinder my existence. I am not immune, but I feel that I have some degree of control on what and who I welcome on my path. I have told others that there is no reason to stay in a place, situation, or with someone where one knows it is going to get worse. Now, this advice applies to me for a change.
The future I imagine will be challenging, and scary. Major life decisions are going to happen, but I have to make them happen first. No one else is going to do this for me, nor do I want that.
I stopped and reflected about my solitude. It is not that I am always alone, but I am enjoying the moments where I can just unplug from everything and everyone. Getting myself lost listening to music, or creating it. Reading a book in silence. Making coffee and drinking it with no rush to finish it, just enjoying every drop.
Knowing when to leave things behind, close chapters, and come full circle is something I am practicing –and appreciating–today.
For the roads follow,